Mistakes and scars.

Idiot. Idiot. Why was I thinking??? :(  It was perfect. Things were going good.... and I ruined it. Idiot.

You know my previous post about a girl? Well its about her again. Things we're getting good. We talk all the time. I even got to hang out with her on a couple of occasions too. I couldn't really believe my luck. I finally got my break and things were going my way. No other guys, no false rumours, no lies, etc. I thought it was a perfect chance, and I still do. She was special too. Not like other girls I know. Cool, pretty, smart and pretty lame haha. Pretty cute too. :3 It sounds great huh? I thought so too.

So here's my mistake. This BIG mistake I did that no guy should ever do to a girl. :/ All da guys out there pay attention, you should know this. It started like this. We wanted to exchange who we liked, the real one. I told her to tell me hers first then I will honestly tell her who I like (obviously you know who). She told me she honestly like noone at that time.... At that moment.....I felt screwed...... I thought....I though..... nvm. Just too high hopes that time. 

I thought of it awhile. What should I say?I was playing game half way that time so my attention was pretty much divided. In the end, I stupidly replied 'you'.

Wtf did I just do? I confessed I liked to her through a text. I soon realize my mistake. Too all guys out there, never ever ever ever EVER confess to a girl you like her through a text message. That is just a turnoff and pretty cowardly of you to do so.

Another thing was that I confessed to soon. I only get to know here really well for about a month. A healthy relationship be that short. Again my mistake.

So yeah, she avoided answering the question after that. And I felt..... what can I say. I knew where this was heading. Front the moment I liked her, this was exactly the scenario I was trying to avoid, but here I am anyways. And yeah, next day she explained to me how she couldn't like me the same way back. Again, what can I say?

I remember sacrificing so much time just to talk to her. All those hours spend texting her. I remember going out to the movies with her. I remember laughing and talking and just having fun together. So much memories and moments in time, all down the drain. I'm so mad at myself right now, I could just blow man. I was hurt, and really sad. The pain. It wasn't just normal pain. It came from the fact that I let it all slipped from my fingers because of what I did. *poof* Just like that. And its all gone. I cannot put into words on how sad I feel right now.

I'm not giving up yet. I want her to know she means alot to me but at the same time I don't want to annoy her with all this. Maybe someday I'll get my chance.But for now...... yeah I think I'm gonna go cry now.