Life of a Form 6 Boy.

                Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I posted anything haha. Anyways, I’m writing this post to share about my experiences in form 6, the reasons I chose I chose it and what I’ve come to learn in my time here. I know it’s a little late but better late than never! Okay let’s jump right into it.

The beginning: Choosing form 6.

There’s a common stereotype thinking that form 6 is one of the worst options to choose when it comes to higher level education. It seems that every and any options is better than being that ‘lame kid who stayed back in form 6’. I won’t lie, I was also caught up in that thinking and I definitely wouldn’t even dream about going to form 6. In fact, it was the bottom of my list of places to study. Back then, with my results of 8A+ 2A for SPM, I just barely missed out for bursary from government. However, I was still pretty optimistic about my options though. I thought that I could at least get a scholarship discount with my results and pursue my studies in A level at some fancy-pancy place.

But it was in this hectic and uncertain period that I came to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I was brought up a Christian all my life but I never understood God or the depths of His love for me until then. It all changed on the 20^th of March 2014. A group of missionaries from USA came to share the gospel with us and my life was and has been changed since. God became so real to me and it was because of Him that I managed to sustain through some of the toughest periods of my life in form 6. But more on that later.

So back to the point, I started applying for scholarship around Malaysia and asking around for universities that I go for. I got rejected by a lot actually haha but I managed to get a few interviews such as for Petronas and JPA scholarship. After the interview process, I was actually extremely confident of my chances to get at least one of these scholarships. I honestly thought I did really well for my interviews. While waiting for the results of the interviews, my parents convince me to start attending form 6 classes just to get myself mentally prepared for university and as a backup plan in case all else fails. And so I went for the two weeks of orientation in the school. This was a real turning point for me. It was at this time that I started prayer meeting in the school and even share the gospel with a couple of new people I’ve met there. I was also starting to really have a good fellowship with my people in church youth (yes, I know I’m kinda old for youth already L haha) and learn a lot more about form 6. As the time pass by, I got rejected by JPA scholarship and I only had Petronas scholarship left to bank on to ‘get out of form 6’. But somehow, I knew God wanted to stay here in Kuching. He started to work so much through me and I was learning so much in that short period of time in form 6. The results of my Petronas scholarship was coming out on the Friday afternoon of my second week in school. Before that, I prayed to God that if I did not get this scholarship, then surely it was His will for me to go form 6. When the results finally came out and I didn’t get the scholarship, I honestly wasn’t sad. I was actually excited and motivated to see what I could learn in my time here. And boy oh boy, looking back at it, it has been an amazing journey.

Living the form 6 life.

                Form 6 was challenging for me. If you knew me, you would know that I am the lazy, last-minute study and irresponsible boy who wanted to play all day. I had little self-discipline and almost no interest in studying. In fact, as I’m typing this post, my transformation is actually pretty crazy haha. Here’s a run through of my schedule:

 In the first two months of every semester, I was studying an average of 1-2 hours of studying a day (excluding breaks. I mean like pure solid studying) and there were many days I actually didn’t even study. I was pretty much a pig throughout form 6 and I would nap a minimum of 1 hour every day at home. I kid you not! That’s why I usually only start studying after 5pm and if I came home late (cuz of extra classes/activities), I’ll only start after dinner. I adopted a system which I called ‘one for one’. This means that if I studied for 30 minutes, I would get 30 minutes break and if I study 1 hour, I’ll get one hour break and so forth. I also kept a general ‘no-study’ policy after 9:30 pm because that was the time I prayed and read my bible.  Besides that, I don’t study on Sundays because that was my ‘rest day’ and the time I spend most of my days in church.

As the months progress, I increased my study intensity. My ideal scenario is to have 7 hours of study a day when I have no school (2hours in the morning, 3hours in the afternoon and 2hours at night) and at least 2-3 hours of studying on a school day. Well… let’s just say I failed to hit that target around 70% of the time haha. But this helped me a lot to give me a standard or target that I ideally want to achieve instead of just ‘going with the flow’. I tend to play music, typically worship music because it really helps gives me peace as I study.

I’m a really social guy. I love to talk and make jokes. I firmly believe that study and no play is not worth it at all. I had some pretty awesome people in form 6 that were really funny and easy going. We would laugh with each other all the time and do some of the most random things in class. Thinking about it now, that actually helped me so much to have fun in school and to be happy as we study. I also had really smart friends that was crucial to my studies. They helped me so much! Outside of school, I typically hang with my youths where we’ll go supper (which unfortunately led to me gaining weight. A lot of weight L) or friends when they came back from their studies. I would normally go out 1-3 times a week depending on how free I am.

The most important element for me as I went through form 6 was God. I know it sounds all superficial and impossible but that’s just what it is! He guided me and grant me strength throughout my time in form 6. I remember in my first exams in semester 1, I was still getting used to studying and I actually haven’t studied the maths chapter finished (there was 4 chapters. I only managed to study about 2!). By then, it was already almost 9:30 pm. I could have stayed up whole night to study finish the maths but I remember I told God that if I choose to study over seeking Him and taking the time to pray, then my ‘A’ in my exams would be meaningless. Before every exams, about 10 minutes or so, I would go to my exam seat earlier and just pray/sing worship song. I loved to sing ‘You are my strength’ or ‘Christ alone’ because it reminds me to trust God and trust that He will provide for me. And man, God really always provides for me in every exams.

 Yes, I did study and tried my best, but God was my provider and strength throughout my process. I would never get the results I did without God. I remember one night before my exams in semester 3, I would get so stress that I wouldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep at night. That night, I felt God called me to just come to His presence and worship Him, and so I did. In the midst of my most stress moments of my life, the peace of the Lord was with me and as I declared praises to Him, I turned my attention from my exams to the perfect God. In the next few days, I came across this song called ‘All the way my savior leads me’. What a beautiful song that reminded me that God started my journey in form 6 and He will surely help me finish well, regardless of results. J

Post Form 6.

                Even as I got my results, God continues to surprise me. I pretty much expected at least 3A’s for my STPM results but I pretty much conceded my Pengajian Am (PA) results. I had a grade of B, B+ and 2A’s from the 3 semesters and project. There was an extremely slim chance for me to get A for that subject. As I was driving to school to get and check my final results, I kinda accepted that I would only get 3A, 1A- at best. As I was parking, I went online just to check my results. Of all the surprises I had in form 6, this was the most shocking for me. Even though my I thought my PA didn’t get an A, I actually did! And so I got 4A’s with a cgpa of 4.0! It was really funny because as I entered school, I went to the teacher’s room to get my results but my teacher told me to go to the school hall to meet another teacher, Mr. Teng. When I met him, he told me to prepare myself for an interview. So I was like ‘what interview?’. Then he told me that there were reporters waiting for me in the school hall. Man, I felt like a celebrity there. Cameras were flashing everywhere and they bombarded me with so much questions that I could hardly answer because I was still so shocked about the whole thing. It was crazy, absolutely crazy.

Final Thoughts.

                Form 6 has played a big role in the way I mature as a person and the things I’ve learned. If you’re unsure what you want to do after form 5, I would actually highly recommend it. It isn’t super glamorous or anything but it really is a one-in-a-lifetime adventure!

Before I end, I would like to acknowledge special people in my life that has helped me throughout my journey in form 6. My parents has always been super supportive of me albeit, the typical Asian way haha. They always did my chores for me in my exam period (thanks parents <3) and bought me lots of food (which sadly continued to contribute to my weight gain). The people in school were super fun and joyful to be around with and the teachers there really helped me in my studies.  My youth family including all the advisors had also played a big role in my life and I just love to spend time with them on Sundays. My really helpful tutor, Pn. Ling who not only taught me extra classes but continued to encourage me to trust in God. Not to mention my mentor, Young Eun who has been so important in my life. Every one of them are so precious to me!

That wraps up my journey in form 6. I’m moving on now to pursue my double degree in Civil Engineering and Economics at Nanyang Technological School under ASEAN Scholarship. God has been so good to me! I pray that as you read this post, you too can learn to lean on His grace and mercy. He loves you all unconditionally and He will provide for you if you seek and ask from Him. J

I’ll end with Psalms 23:

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake. ⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Ready, set, love.

            I know a lot of single guys/girls can relate to feelings of wanting to love and be loved back. I am no different. I had my fair share of crazy love-related feelings from crying myself to sleep, to being euphoric. That's just the great thing about love isn't it? It's just so bipolar. Anyways, up til recently, I have always questioned myself (and sometimes even God) on why my crush or any girl in fact won't like me back. I felt like I really needed the answers to those questions so that I know what to look out for or change in order to get a girl to like me but the answers never came. Until...

          One typical morning, I woke up as usual on my bed. As I was getting up from my bed to go brush my teeth, I tripped over a pile of books near my bed which I never bothered to clear up. At that moment while I was rubbing my bruises, I was laughing to myself and thinking 'Wow, if I have a girlfriend now, she would think I am really messy and unorganized'. That was the moment it hit me. Everything made sense then.

          As a Christian, I've always been told that God loves us and wants everything the best for us. He knows what I really wants and He really wants to give it to me unless the timing isn't right or I am not ready. So at that awkward moment in my room, I began to realize. What if after all this while, I never had a girlfriend because God was actually protecting both of us from having a bad relationship due to my/her bad habits? In other words, what if I was not fully ready for a relationship? It's like going out to meet someone without your clothes or swimming without first learning how to. You can't do something if you yourself aren't ready for it. 

           And so I began to seriously think of all the bad habits about myself that I can and should changed all this while. For one, it's clear that I am extremely messy at home, especially my room. I am also very lazy if you compared me to my twin brother, Alden who is basically the most hardworking guy I have ever met even until now.  Even focusing my attention on getting a girlfriend instead of my own future (especially at this age) is already a sign that I am not ready to get in a relationship.  Besides that you and I should also never change who we are in order to get a girl. If it comes to that, something is definitely wrong with the way you approach things because love isn't based on false pretenses and frankly if that person can't love you for who you are, obviously he/she isn't the one for you!

          Of course, your natural look, personal quirk or family background should never be use as an excuse as to why no one likes you. I really hate it when people go all 
'Aiyo, I so ugly so no one will like me' or 
'I am not rich enough' or even
'I am not funny enough'
 because for a genuine relationship to work, non of those matters. If it does to you or your crush, then maybe he/she isn't right for you. At least, that's the way I feel about it. In fact, this issue deserves a post on its own but I guess that's for another day.


On my personal official list, I never had a girlfriend in my life. It's a funny truth that I am laughing about now because I am actually glad I never had one. I'll be saving it one day for a girl who truly means something to me when I am ready. :) 

Finally after all this while, I finally understood what this means. 

       

Boomerang

       I don't know if anyone feel this way but I sometimes feel like I do things... Bad and terrible things which hits me back hard at the end of the day. A self-inflicted wound. Almost like a...

Boomerang.


If you know me well, you'll probably know that I can get pretty emotional. Sometimes(well actually, most of the time), I get so caught up and engulfed in my emotions that I tend to do stupid things. Honestly, I feel like I let my emotions control me too much. Feelings such as anger, love, sadness, anxiety and jealousy are just some to name a few.

         Here's the worst part. When I am in one of those 'man period' moods, I just lose it sometimes. I start to be irrational and just focus solely on my emotions I'm feeling at that moment. I do things that I will regret and I hate myself for doing that because with my actions, comes the consequences. I know I have started to annoyed and cause anger among some of my friends with what I do. Once I think of my actions in a neutral point of view, I know I've done something really bad. I understand how they must be feeling about what I do and though some maybe quick to forgive, I have lost some valuable and precious people in my life because of it. It's all my fault.

        But then, sometimes I do feel so alone. Life challenges and over thinking can take its toll on a person. Then when I try to seek help, it's like there's no person out there who could be there for me. When I really need some opinion or advice, some people, even the ones i trust just say 'I support whatever decision you make' or 'anything lah'. I really needed some voice of opinion but the answers I get just isn't helping. Like they're not even trying to help. I start to get afraid of burdening my friends with my problems and in the end, I just don't know what to do.

         With all the emotions bottled inside of me, I had to let it out. I couldn't keep it to myself so I let my feelings be heard and read. I get all crazy and even direct my emotions at the people who cause them. I let it all out and just get everything off my chest. People start to catch on then people start to judge. One thing lead to another and what is left is resentment, anger and disappointment.

          I never meant to cause any of this commotion. I just wanted the people who cause these emotions in the first place to know what I feel. Of course it is so stupid of me to do it this way. Everything I did was selfish and only catered to my needs. I only cared about what I feel which was immature on my part. So whatever I threw out, it hit me right back.
.
.
. A boomerang.

The neutral side of things!

             You know there comes a time when you do something and in your heart, you feel like it's the right thing. You even feel like you're doing it better than other people and you are in a sense, 'the best person' there. I mean come on, we all have those moments don't we? 

      
           But what if the opposite happen. What if the things you thought you are doing right, turns out to be absolutely wrong? What then?! Does it mean your view of what is wrong and right is wrong and the wrong is actually right??

Okay too confusing.

          Anyways, this scenario recently happened to me. I was in a group (not going to say specifically what or why) and things weren't going too smoothly. I felt like a lot of the people weren't taking things seriously and I was the only one doing my job properly. It was as if the project didn't mattered to them and it was all a joke. But then, as the weeks gone by, I realized that I was the one who actually wasn't doing my part. I was so caught up in the idea that I was right, that I became completely biased to the fact that I wasn't even doing anything. Turns out, the people I thought were loafing around, did their job surprisingly well and they definitely did a whole lot better than I did. Yes, I'm ready to take my humble pie now.


         It's not only that, I start to realize that I'm doing it to my friends too. Like for example, when we do a project which requires us to chip in money, I'm perfectly fine if someone else chip in more money but I silently get unhappy when I have to chip in more especially if my job is harder or even easier. I know I know, I'm so cheap! But then again to be fair, I thought it was justified at that time and I didn't think I was wrong.

Which leads me to the purpose of this topic. I think some people, me included should see the neutral side of things. Not just how 'we' see it or what 'other people' see it. It gets hard of course because we are humans after all and we tend to see things in a biased point of view. I also think there are some situations where we have to not be so Asian and calculative about basically everything and expect everything to be balanced at the end of the day. It's because that's how the world is and that's how people are. :)


Oh, and I know I haven't been blogging for like what, over a year but I decided to take it up again since I'm so free and I honestly do enjoy writing them! Plus I really miss blogging so yeah.

Kay too gay.

Anyways, peace. Bye. Or whatever. c:

SSIDC 2013

Swimburne Sarawak InterSchool Debate Competition. Wow, what an experience. Being crowned Champion just seems so surreal. Everytime people comes up to me and say 'Hey congratulations for your achievement in the debate competition!', I just feel like.... wow. All these years I'm the one who says that, but finally its my turn to be on the other end. I can't describe the feelings. It's a mixture of everything really!

And to think 3 weeks ago, I was about to quit the tournament. To be honest, I was really low on moral that time. I just got back from the InterDivision Chess competition(which I won nothing and caused my team to lose out on a medal! -_-) and when I remembered I had to go for debate, I was like 'Oh man! Another competition to go to lose!'. I remembered the heartbreak of last year and also how I have practically went for zero training ever since. So I wasn't too excited on the idea of heading into a tournament unprepared and with a high chance of failing regardless who I was teaming up with especially since it was SPM year and all that. I was about to give a call to Abel to get a replacement for me, but then whether it was fate or not, Abel called me first.

That phone call changed everything. Naturally, Abel was concerned over my commitment as I have gone zero training out of the dozens sessions that was held and I was of course, rusty after all those months of not debating. We talked it over and I did tell him how I felt about it. I even suggested on a replacement for me. But then he told me he could, but he didn't wanted to because this year was his final year and he wanted to do it with people he cared and can have fun with. Right there and then, I remembered what me and Abel promised each other. To see this through to the end. To win this tournament no matter what it takes. And thats when I realise, I HAD to do it. i just had to. 

So in the next few days, I attended training in school and watched video's on debating to hone back some of my skills. I was really rusty and it took some time before I could roughly give a 7minute speech. Chinese New Year came and of course, no debating during then. The next training was a tournament, KDL. This was my first tournament since SSIDC 2012 and I had to admit, I was really, really rusty. Our team did fairly well, getting 2/3 wins. But what really shocked me was individual speaker scores. By luck or by fate, I somehow tied first place. How was that possible?!? Yeah, praises  flew in and confidence grew, but I knew I was still far from my best. At this point I was still seriously doubting our team's capability to even past the Octa-finals, let alone reach the finals.

Day 1: Prelims
But anyways, 3 days later, SSIDC got going. Upon entering Swimburne, memories started flooding back. The joy, the heartbreaks, the stress, the adrenaline, the wonderful atmosphere and of course the friends there. The great thing about the tournament is its... how to put this in words hhmmm... its grandness. It's a fiercely contested tournament (especially with Peninsular Malaysia teams joining!) but at the same time, that place feels like home. Like we're all family in a sense. I think thats the best way I can describe it haha.

So anyways, the rounds began soon enough. First round opponents, SMK Sains Hulu Selangor B. We debated on the motion 'THBT Children Should Have The Right To Choose Their School Curriculum' with us being the Goverment. We got an anonymous win and from there, I think our confidence grew alot. We were definitely in high spirits. 2nd round was against SM Lodge E. Now this was trouble. We were going against the last year's SSIDC junior champion!! We debated on the motion 'THW Ban Fast Food Companies From Sponsoring and Advertising in Sporting Events' with us being the Opposition. It was a really heated and close debate but we managed to win it with a margin of one. Kudos to that team because they were truly one of the toughest opponents throughout the tournament!! So that concluded Day 1 and we were definitely getting in the groove. Things was going pretty decent for us.

Day 2: Prelims 
I think we (or was it just me?!) got a little too much confidence from Day 1. Day 2, our opponents was our own schoolmate, SMK BL B -_- We were Government on the motion 'THW Punish Poachers of Endangered Species In The Same Way Of Murderers'. to put it bluntly, we lost. But when I look back at it now, it was an absolutely necessary lost. It grounded us back into reality and made us remember that there are plenty of teams in that tournament that are really good. Imagine if we went on the get 5 wins? We would have gotten complacent and over confident with ourselves and we'll almost definitely lose before we even reach the finals. So that was a really important awakening call for us. So we went in to round 4 with alot more caution. We were up against our first round opponents, SMK Sains Hulu Selangor B, again -____-. Motion was 'THW Would Legalise Prostitution' with us getting the Opposition side of the room. It was a tricky round as at this stage, both teams roughly knew each others weaknesses and the motion itself depends on how each sides presents the case. In the end of the round, we prevailed but we were even more humbled then before. Our adj was direct to the point and said our team really lacked analysis, poor engagement and poor ideas and goals. After that round, i got the stick from our trainer. A harsh one. But yet again, looking back, this was so important. We really learned from our mistakes and I especially took special attention to my speech as at that time, it was really, really bad. I didn't want to pull my team down so I really gave serious food for thought on this. Which made me realise why after 3 years of debating, my standard hasn't exactly improve to where I hoped it would be. I think most of the time, people don't take into serious consideration the feedback given by the adjudicators but I tell everyone right now if you seriously want to improve, you really have to listen to the comments and feedback given as it will almost definitely make your speech better. In the 5th round a.k.a the silent round, we were paired up against CHMS A on the motion 'THW Allow Prisoners To Donate Their Organs In Return For Shorter Sentences'. We got the government side of the motion. A tricky round as it was against one of 'our own' but I guess it's the nature of competition and someone has to win... I thought both sides did pretty well. So now all we could do was wait for the results the next day!

Day 3: Breaking Rounds
The next day was when we things stepped up a notch. You can feel that things were getting serious as every team waited for the results to come out. Like every year, we were just as anxious as anyone else. To cut to the chase, we won our round against CHMS and ranked 3rd with relatively the highest speakers scores of the whole tournament!! Our other school team made it as well. Things were definitely going to step up a notch. Our Octa-Final's opponents are against Lodge B. A group of talented boys. We got the Opposition side of the motion 'THW Force Rich People To Pay More Tax'. Again, both sides did really well and it really could have gone either way. Just before the announcement of the results, we were so, sososososososo nervous. Last year at this very same stage, we got knocked out so we were so afraid that was going to happen. When they said it was a 2-1 split, I had to admit, I was on the verge of going super panic mode. It was just that nerve wrecking! When they announced we won, I just remembered me shouting really loud and hugging everyone I could see. We finally pass our bogeyman round! It was the icing on the cake to know EVERY ONE of our school teams broke into the Quarter-Finals as well!! What a great achievement!! From this point onwards, I became a believer. I has a faith we would make it to the finals. I just knew it. We had to. But there was a problem in our team... well basically.... that problem.... is...

Me. In every team, there will be the ones that shine and the ones that MIGHT pull the team down and unfortunately, that person is me. Not only did I have the least amount of training prior to the tournament, I also have a big problem with stummering. Its been a problem since wwaaayyy back from my first SSIDC. I really, really didn't wanted to pull my team down so I've really been trying to analyse my speech as a whole and trying to really apply the feedback given by the adju's. I just couldn't let my team down like I did last year...

I have to say, one of the most fun yet in a sense, bad debate round was the Quarter-Finals. Much to the distraught of everyone from our school, BL A was paired up against BL B. the motion was 'THW Not Allow People Under Welfare To Have Anymore Children' and we were the Opposition. It was fun in the sense that we could make jokes amoung each other since we're basically family regardless that we were opponents. It was bad because at the end of the day, one team HAD to lose and even though we both really wanted to beat each other, it wouldn't seem right. When they were announcing the results, this was the most frighten I ever felt. Not only are the people who we love the only thing that stands in our way to the Semi's, but the prospect of losing TWICE to them in a single tournament and when it mattered most was just too scary. The announcer gave it a 3-0 split and just to add the suspense  he decided to give a dramatic silence. -_- at that point i was basically on my knees, starting to cry. The results was different though. First of all, we got the win. But there was no celebration this time. Yeah we won, but at the expense of our other team. It's a combination of satisfaction and sadness. The dejected looks of our other school team really made me feel guilty. If they won, I would have felt the exact same thing too. :/ really sorry guys. I wish there was another way! But yeah, its the nature of competition I suppose :( one of our junior team lost to so it was left to our team and a junior team to win it. 

They say the biggest hurdle comes just before the Finals and boy were they right. We had to go against Lodge E again!! It was so scary the first time and now we had to do it again!! We got the Government side with the motion 'THW Would Allow All Nations To Have Nuclear Weapons'. Another mind boggler and a real hard motion to debate on. Our room was filled with people which just added to the stress and grandness of the debate. This round was truly a worth round which was filled with excellent speeches from both benches, a real crowd pleaser. A really good debate. After the round, regardless of us winning or not, we were really proud of what we achieved. To have managed to reach this far was beyond our expectations especially going against worthy opponents such as Lodge E! When they were announcing results, it was no longer tense. We stood alongside Lodge E knowing whoever is going to the Finals will be worthy finalist indeed. 5-0 split. Win goes to us. Amazing. Simply amazing. Everything that we have dreamed of years back. All the promises we made. Finally kept. How else can I describe it?? Kudos to Lodge E again though for being really worthy opponents and good sports. Absolutely love them. Really nice people!!

So for the first time, I get to talk about Finals. A classic battle of East vs West. SMK Batu Lintang A vs Sekolah Dato Abdul Razak. Okay to be honest, I was absolutely freaking out. Over the years of Finals, the whips were always the highlight of the debate. The clash of the titans. But.... I suck!!! I mean, it's not like I was really really bad but its fact I'm no good either. My day just keeps getting better and better to know that apparently their whip is fantastic and in a close debate, it almost always comes down to the whips. Great, just great. That night I spent HOURS working on perfecting my speech. HOURS analyzing what makes and breaks a whip speech. Of course it was impossible to become a fantastic whip in one night, but it'll have to do. I made a promise to myself to not be the cause of us losing if somehow we did lose to them. I just can't live with that guilt. 

Day 4: Finals 
The next morning, I couldn't sleep. Woke up at 4:30 and I started preparing my speech again. What a big day. This was finally it. The big finals. The highlight of the competition. It's just so amazing. At this point, everyone of my friends were shocked because they pretty much expected us to lose by then. If we win, we'll not only create history for ourselves but for the school as well. Not to mention that every (well almost every -_-) East Malaysian people were rooting for us to keep the trophy where we like it to be. In the East. Me and Amanda reached earlier that day and went to the Finals room while waiting for wonderful Abel who overslept -_- it was everything I imagined it to be. Noone can understand the feeling of estacy and pride. It was just so surreal. Soon after Abel came and got an ovation from the crowd, justifyingly so. How could we possibly be in the Finals without him in the first place?! The events seem to past by really fast. Before we knew it, the Junior Finals was over and then finally came our turn. Eventhough I was absolutely fretting the night before, I felt calm. Everyone felt calm. We knew we practically achieve the impossible and whatever happens after this, win or lose, we know we have something to be proud of. It helps to have massive crowd support too! Man, I really love you guys! 

We ended up with Opposition for 'THW Force Clincally Obese Children To Attend Residential Weight Lose and Education Camp'. We were surprisingly organised and structured during our prep time haha. We are usually very messy and all that but I guess after teaming up for so many rounds, we basically could read each other's mind :) Before you know it, time was up. We got our things, say a lil' prayer and went to the hall. It was time. We were going in there with just one mindset. To be the champion. When we enter the hall, the crowd  were sooo supportive. Did I mention I love them so much?? :) Everything was set for a Grand Final. Let it begin.

I won't exactly go into the details as it was a really close debate and you just couldn't tell who would win. It was just that tight. But once again, amazing atmosphere and amazing crowd. After the Gov reply speech was done, it was over. Finally. After four days and nine rounds, it was finally over. A worthy finish. I look to my teammates. We smiled. We did it. 

After a short break and a few speeches, it was finally time for the results. Even though I said it win or lose, we were proud of what we did, deep down we knew we couldn't truly be satisfied without a win. And so came the results. "In a 5-4 split, the win goes tooo... SMK Batu Lintang A."

We screamed. We shouted. We hugged. We cried. We smiled. We laughed. The crowd gave us a standing ovation. We won this. We finally won this. Champions of the Swimburne Sarawak Interschool Debate Competition. How could 3 weeks ago, something so impossible became a reality? How did this happen? Who knows. But we won. It just felt amazing, beyond words, beyond dreams, beyond expectations. We were Batu Lintang A, the 'A' team and literally the A team in the competition.


After debate :)
God works in miraculous ways. Everything that happen, every event, every lost and won, every adjudication, every opponents we met, even our own school, was just perfect timing by Him. Looking back, everything that happen was so necessary to allow us to stay humble and continue learning to become better. I'm amazed by Him. He really helped and blessed in this years SSIDC. So I guess a really big shoutout to my Man up in heaven!

I really wanna thank my teammates, Abel Law and Amanda Hwa. You guys believed in me from the start even though I didn't believed in myself. You guys were really top quality debaters and I am so fortunate that a guy like me can be in your team. I would never ever want to win this competition with anyone else. Only you guys. Gay for life.

I have to give special thanks to Abel. It's just amazing. You helped me remembered our dream of winning this. You saw something in me noone else could and you've given me something noone else would. Faith. How could I possibly come so far without you? How could I even dare to dream of reaching the finals without you? Heck I was already prepared to throw in the towel three weeks ago. But you helped me remember this. Something I said a year ago: 

"In a way, its okay our dreams didnt came true. Cuz thats what drives us further, push us harder, strive higher. So until the day we hear our names in the finalist, the day we embrace each other and say "We did it bro. This is what we worked for. " The day tears flow down our eyes thinking of all the pain and hardship we endure to get there, we'll never give up. Cuz when that day comes, everything will be worthwhile. We are and forever will be, gay." - Alson-

We did it. Together. :') Besides that, I wanna salute you for pushing and training our school. Look at how far we achieved! We wouldn't have progressed at all without your commitment so I guess on behalf of the school, I would like to say thanks too!

Of course how could I forget our trainer Sophia Ong. You are very scary haha. But BIG thank you for all the training and for pushing me to do as well as I did. I could not come as far as I could without your help. Sigh just thanks for everything!! How could I have ask for anyone better than you? <3

Shoutout to my parents, teachers and other adjudicators as well that gave me advice and encouragement along the way! Your support also allowed me to be where I am and what I achieved today! :)

To my sexy and gay school mates, I am super duper proud of all of you. For the seniors, I'm really sorry it had to end the way it did but either way, you guys were really good and it was a true shame for us to meet in the Quarters! :/ As for the juniors, you guys got spunk. When I was a junior, we got creamed in the quarters so really good job guys! I didn't exactly helped with the training but I still am really proud of you. :D oh, and congratz on all the individual awards you guys won! :)

Whoah whoah whoah, let's not forget Swimburne for hosting another wonderful and brilliant SSIDC! Wonderful dedication and commitment by these people :) You guys are just the best. Thanks also to friends and mentors who indirectly or directly supported me throughout the tournament! It has truly been a great tournament this year. If there was one thing I'll regret about this tournament was the fact I am really shy. Theres so many wonderful people there and I just regret not being able to meet each and everyone of you. Hope to see you guys soon next year! Yes, the 'A' team might be joining next year to try and retain the title. We'll see ;) haha. 

    The pokemon team!! Psyduck, Mewtwo and the ever adorable Sudo Woodo hahaha

SMK Batu Lintang A a.k.a. The A team! :)

Focusing on the task at hand

Game on. SeDAR vs SMK BL

Us when we knew we won!!

Award Ceremony! SMK Batu Lintang, Champions of SSIDC 2013

Congratulations to everyone who won an award!

Inter-Division Chess Competition 2013

Sooo I recently went for Inter-Division Chess Competition which lasted from 28-30th January. It was a.. hmm.. I guessed a mix experience? It was definitely a stressful and nerve-wrecking 3 days. Not to mention tiring! 

I was kinda pressured to do well at that time because in the recently concluded Inter-School Chess Competition, I got 2nd place (i was kinda lucky cuz I got a higher position because of my tie-break) so everyone expected me to perform as well as the past greats of Kuching. Not to mention Chris Edward, my super pro chess schoolmate, couldn't go for Inter-Division because he's parents don't let him go! It definitely made me feel more pressured because between us two, everyone would expect Chris to do the winning and I'll just be content with trying and doing my best. This wasn't the case though since Chris wasn't going and I became the only guy who represented our school. ._. It wasn't exactly an easy weight to carry considering I was one of the least experience in my team (this was only me second inter-division!)

The night before the competition, at the hotel in Miri, I started to feel homesick. Normally I would be glad to get a break from being stuck in my house all the time but being in a foreign place, far away from people I care about, it made me realize how much they all my mean to me. Plus like I said before, I was going to the competition with high pressure. Even among teammates there was a sense of competitiveness as everyone wanted to do better then the other to prove something. Plus there was no wifi there so I didn't really had anyone close to talk to that night. To be honest,  really felt depressed that night. 

Netherless, the next day, I was in high spirits after the first two rounds. I was especially proud of my second round. I beat this Sibu guy who eventually went on to become a top 6 player. He was an opponent I met two years ago. I played a great game against him and made a perfect 2/2 win record against him. At that moment I really thought I was going to go all the way if I can just keep my focus and momentum going. I also felt less pressured since I atleast on the first day, I perform to what people would expect of me. On the first day, I played a total of 160 minutes.

The second day.... well, things just went downhill fast. My 3rd and 4th rounds were against players who eventually went on the become top 6 players. I gave a good fight and was even winning in both games. However, my inexperience and lack of poise under time pressure caused me to make mistakes(same mistakes in both game too!) which eventually caused me to lose both those games. t was a real pity though cause I had a winning advantage towards the end of both games and I was really trying my best, calculating and analyzing everything as best as I could. But I guess in every competition there has to be a loser. And I was it. My 5th game was a disaster. It was a combination of things that made me lose. First of I was going against a guy from Mukah so I made the mistake of looking down on him. Second, I didnt realize it as first but that guy was using tricks to physco and distract me when it was my turn to think. Lastly, after the intense game I had in my 3rd and 4th round, I was mentally drained. I hardly even calculated towards the end of the game which ultimately allowed my opponent to queen first and caused me to lose. I played a total of 309 minutes.

Still, in the end of the second day, I really had no excuses except for my lack of experience, my time pressure issues and my mental preparation. Losing my 3rd and 4th game wasn't too bad but losing my 5th was absolutely embarrassing. I felt down right disappointed. I obviously could have won that game but I was too lazy and tired to calculate out much. I went from hero to zero real fast after that lost. Noone mentioned it but I knew what they were thinking. Not to mention, I just lost the chance to represent Sarawak. It was a bad day.

I thought my second day was bad. My last day was worst. I ran out of gas already. I managed to win , 6th round but ONLY because my opponent ran out of time. Looking at my position I felt I was going to lose because of his better pawn structure and better placed pieces. My final round was another disaster. I lost to a guy from Miri. He was a real tough nut to crack and ultimately, I went on to lose on time. It wasn't that bad until I realize because I lost, I caused my team to lose out on atleast a team bronze medal. By the 6th round, we were tied with Miri for 3rd place and because I lost to a player from Miri in my final round, I cost the entire <18 boys team to go home empty handed. And this all happen on my birthday!! T.T

All in all, I couldnt really fault me for trying. Because honestly, I was really trying my best (maybe except my 5th round -_-) and I managed to beat 1 top 6 player and made the other 2 sweat to beat me. Theres nothing really much that bridge the gap between the top 20 players because everyone there is just such good players. So I'm glad to be ranked atleast among one of the top in Sarawak. I had a pretty good time in between rounds hanging with friends and getting to know new people from my own division as well as others. :) got a go to do this beautiful beach and did some shopping too!

Oh! And I would like to give a sincere shoutout and gratitude to all my friends who looked out for me throughout the 3 days! All those calls and text you guys sent meant alot to me. I tell you one of the best things about my birthday is not that I was born, its that I get to have a chance to have such amazing friends and families who are always looking out for me. I truly appreciate that. :') Thank you guys!

Well that pretty much sums up my trip to Miri. Not what I was expecting but definitely something that I'll cherish and remember for times to come :)

New Year, New Start!

Yes, once again, it's the end of the year and a beginning of a new one. It's my 16th (or is it 15th? Idk  haha) one and it never gets old! A new year is a time for change and start afresh. A time to forget all the bad past and become a better person. A year older, a year wiser.

And of course, let's not forget the New Year resolutions! Speaking from experience, I hardly... okay make that never fulfil my resolutions. Maybe a month or so before I give up....

SO THIS TIME, I SHALL LIST IT ALL DOWN NICELY AND YOU ALL SHALL BE MY WITNESS. I'm determined this time to follow them! So here goes :)

1. God, You're my Man!
Throughout my life, I only look to God when I'm in trouble. That is wrong. God isn't just a person who fixes problems, He blesses you, loves you and is your closest friend. Lately I start to see this but I'm still like an On and Off switch. I need to always, always put God first in my life. He gives me everything I have right now and I am truly grateful for that. :) I have this idea of pasting bible verses on the walls of my room to remind me of God's words. Haha we'll see!

2. LIVE EARTH, LIVE.
Imagine if everyone goes shopping once a week. Now imagine that every single person in the world bring homes a plastic bag and throws it away. That would be 7 billion non-biodegradable plastic bags polluting the environment every week and in a year, it'll be over 30 billion plastic papers! So many animals die one way or another either through this. It shouldn't happen. That's excluding the number of litter bugs who mindlessly throw away their sweet wrappers or their rubbish on the floor. Regardless, they are many other forms of pollution and if everyone just start being a lil' more environmentally aware, we can really help save our planet from pollution. So what I'm trying to do is bring my own bag every time I go out shopping. I'm also gonna try to start putting an effort in recycling and start saving electricity! It may seem small but one person can take a step to making a difference and I wanna try to take that step.

3. Priorities. Studies above everything else.
Back when I was in form 3 and people told me form 4 is going to be way harder, I didn't believe them. But that is all too true. I slacked off wayyyy too much in form 4 and pretty much struggled all the way. I keep getting side-tracked. Things like my love life, music(no more piano this year! yyayy), games, social networks, and in general, the need to do anything besides studying -__-' I can tell you right now I have practically no idea what I have learn for Sejarah form 4 *faints* and if this continues, I might as well say good bye to my future lol. This year towards the end, I showed I can be focused and determined if I want to with my good Chemistry results and somehow miraculously did 4-6 hours of piano everyday throughout my holiday. It's a start lah at least. So bring it on 2013!

 4. Forever alone mode: on
This is pretty similar to my third but it just had to have a column of its own. Last year I can say I spent as much time thinking or being involve in love stuff instead of studying. Worst of all, love affects me emotionally which seriously makes me can't think straight. hahahaha I'm actually laughing at this right now because this is a really hard resolution to keep because love just comes at you when you least expect it and its something you pretty much can't control. But I just hope I get my head straight on. Love is forever present. SPM comes once in my lifetime.

5. Bedtime? What is that?
Okay this is also similar to my third resolution. I'm getting repetitive now haha. But yeah, I was never a guy who want to sleep early, no matter how freakin tired I am. I need to have a proper bed time so that I can wake up fresh and be ready for school to actually learn something instead of just sleeping and fooling around in class. Which leads to my next resolution...

6. HOMEWORK
This has been my new year resolution every year and guess what? I never actually fulfill it haha. Since I was like primary 5, I start to slack with my homework. I have this ideology that if teacher don't check your work, what's the point of doing it? But those work actually help train and bury the points into your head so it's easier to memorize next time. Some of the homeworks are also short notes which really comes in handy. I was going through my form 4 exercise books to try and revise a few things before school reopens and you can pretty much guess how screwed I am with atleast an empty page every 10 pages lol. -_____________-

7. My, my, my... don't you look pretty today!
Yes, I have start to become judgmental. But theres nothing wrong about it. I just hope that I can start saying only nice things about people instead of gossiping about bad things. Noone likes to be judge negatively, neither do I. So be prepared for a nicer Alson this year! I'll prolly be deemed the nice guy and get forever friendzone but hey, it beats being a jerk. And yes, you do look good today whoever is reading this. ;) HAHA 

8. Money? What Money? 
So I empty my savings today to check how much money have I kept for 2012 and it total up to... zero. I spent all my money in school, for friends, dinners, presents and in KL. Even in online games when I start earning alot of money, I go shopping crazy for stuff. I need to learn how to save money and spend wisely next year!

9. Mom: Is your room clean? Me: Yes, there's a clear path from my door to my bed
Ever since young I am never one to keep my room or even the house clean. My stuff is everywhere. I guess this comes from my habit to procrastinate things or only do something when it's really really necessary instead of when I should. My longest clean record is a week. So I'm gonna try to do it for a month first. Small steps! :)

10. Hey, nice weather aye?
I am shy and I no like. Among friends, I'm the crazy guy, the fun person, the talkative one. But among strangers or new people, I just shut down. It just makes me feel uncomfortable being around new people and once again especially girls -_- I get all socially awkward and try to avoid conversation. It's a horrible habit I have since I was young. Hopefully this year I get to show my true side to new people and get to mix along with them well! 

That wraps it up. My 10 2013 resolutions! I plan to abide by them this time ;) Hope you guys get to follow you resolutions too! Cheers to a new year! :)