I was kinda pressured to do well at that time because in the recently concluded Inter-School Chess Competition, I got 2nd place (i was kinda lucky cuz I got a higher position because of my tie-break) so everyone expected me to perform as well as the past greats of Kuching. Not to mention Chris Edward, my super pro chess schoolmate, couldn't go for Inter-Division because he's parents don't let him go! It definitely made me feel more pressured because between us two, everyone would expect Chris to do the winning and I'll just be content with trying and doing my best. This wasn't the case though since Chris wasn't going and I became the only guy who represented our school. ._. It wasn't exactly an easy weight to carry considering I was one of the least experience in my team (this was only me second inter-division!)
The night before the competition, at the hotel in Miri, I started to feel homesick. Normally I would be glad to get a break from being stuck in my house all the time but being in a foreign place, far away from people I care about, it made me realize how much they all my mean to me. Plus like I said before, I was going to the competition with high pressure. Even among teammates there was a sense of competitiveness as everyone wanted to do better then the other to prove something. Plus there was no wifi there so I didn't really had anyone close to talk to that night. To be honest, really felt depressed that night.
Netherless, the next day, I was in high spirits after the first two rounds. I was especially proud of my second round. I beat this Sibu guy who eventually went on to become a top 6 player. He was an opponent I met two years ago. I played a great game against him and made a perfect 2/2 win record against him. At that moment I really thought I was going to go all the way if I can just keep my focus and momentum going. I also felt less pressured since I atleast on the first day, I perform to what people would expect of me. On the first day, I played a total of 160 minutes.
The second day.... well, things just went downhill fast. My 3rd and 4th rounds were against players who eventually went on the become top 6 players. I gave a good fight and was even winning in both games. However, my inexperience and lack of poise under time pressure caused me to make mistakes(same mistakes in both game too!) which eventually caused me to lose both those games. t was a real pity though cause I had a winning advantage towards the end of both games and I was really trying my best, calculating and analyzing everything as best as I could. But I guess in every competition there has to be a loser. And I was it. My 5th game was a disaster. It was a combination of things that made me lose. First of I was going against a guy from Mukah so I made the mistake of looking down on him. Second, I didnt realize it as first but that guy was using tricks to physco and distract me when it was my turn to think. Lastly, after the intense game I had in my 3rd and 4th round, I was mentally drained. I hardly even calculated towards the end of the game which ultimately allowed my opponent to queen first and caused me to lose. I played a total of 309 minutes.
Still, in the end of the second day, I really had no excuses except for my lack of experience, my time pressure issues and my mental preparation. Losing my 3rd and 4th game wasn't too bad but losing my 5th was absolutely embarrassing. I felt down right disappointed. I obviously could have won that game but I was too lazy and tired to calculate out much. I went from hero to zero real fast after that lost. Noone mentioned it but I knew what they were thinking. Not to mention, I just lost the chance to represent Sarawak. It was a bad day.
I thought my second day was bad. My last day was worst. I ran out of gas already. I managed to win , 6th round but ONLY because my opponent ran out of time. Looking at my position I felt I was going to lose because of his better pawn structure and better placed pieces. My final round was another disaster. I lost to a guy from Miri. He was a real tough nut to crack and ultimately, I went on to lose on time. It wasn't that bad until I realize because I lost, I caused my team to lose out on atleast a team bronze medal. By the 6th round, we were tied with Miri for 3rd place and because I lost to a player from Miri in my final round, I cost the entire <18 boys team to go home empty handed. And this all happen on my birthday!! T.T
All in all, I couldnt really fault me for trying. Because honestly, I was really trying my best (maybe except my 5th round -_-) and I managed to beat 1 top 6 player and made the other 2 sweat to beat me. Theres nothing really much that bridge the gap between the top 20 players because everyone there is just such good players. So I'm glad to be ranked atleast among one of the top in Sarawak. I had a pretty good time in between rounds hanging with friends and getting to know new people from my own division as well as others. :) got a go to do this beautiful beach and did some shopping too!
Oh! And I would like to give a sincere shoutout and gratitude to all my friends who looked out for me throughout the 3 days! All those calls and text you guys sent meant alot to me. I tell you one of the best things about my birthday is not that I was born, its that I get to have a chance to have such amazing friends and families who are always looking out for me. I truly appreciate that. :') Thank you guys!
Well that pretty much sums up my trip to Miri. Not what I was expecting but definitely something that I'll cherish and remember for times to come :)
